Just gonna drop this here, because it reminded me of hip hop Patchface. And because every forum needs a Stannis facts thread. 

Stannis facts revised. Gansta version. By LordStannis.

Stannis is so savvy wit a blade, dat when he cutz tha fingers off criminals, they give props ta his ass fo’ it!
Stannis don’t need a helmet up in battle, his claim is THAT phat.
Dragons wish they was tha Blood of tha Stannis.
Melisandre originally had two rubies around her throat. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stannis ripped one off n’ threw dat shit. This is tha red comet.
Stannis is so manly dat even his ho has facial hair.
A wildlin biatch once busted some lyrics ta his ass “Yo Ass know everythang, Stannis Baratheon”.
Stannis Baratheon once warged tha fuck into a dragon, just ta experience weakness.

Spoiler

Stannis once warged tha fuck into Bloodraven.

Stannis done cooked up all tha Storm n’ Reach Lordz declare fo’ Renly, just ta give his ass a challenge.
Stannis once went campin up in Valyria. This is known as tha “Doom”.
Stannis has been known ta say “I be Darkstar, n’ I be of tha Night” n’ muthafuckin instill fear up in gangstas wit dat shit.
When Stannis started burnin gangstas, Targs started pretendin they’d been bustin it fo’ years, just ta be like Stannis (even bustin up stories bout pyro kings n’ everythang!).
Stannis once had a starin contest wit Tywin Lannister. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stannis won.
Da Muthafucka was tha Maid, before her ass kicked it wit Stannis Baratheon.
Storm’s End was Storm’s Beginning before Stannis busted some lyrics ta it ta stop.
In tha land of always winta tha Others say, “Stannis is coming”’, n’ “May Stannis take you”
Actual fact: there is two typez of gangstas up in these books; em whoz ass is afraid of Stannis n’ em whoz ass ARE Stannis.
Knowin tha Westsideeros wide renown of Stannis Baratheon: Badass, all y’all n’ they dopest playa’s cousin tries ta make up “badass” nicknames ta match Stan tha man’s hype. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sword of tha Morning, Da Mountain dat Rides, Da Young Wolf, Darkstar, tha Demon of tha Trident, Muthafucka of Dragons, yo ass name dat shit. But there is only one STANNIS BARATHEON.
Da reason it takes so long fo’ George R.R. Martin ta write a book is cuz he has ta ask Stannis Baratheon fo’ permission ta mention his name. 

If you want to continue, please tag your spoilers.